21 Aralık 2022 Çarşamba
2 Aralık 2022 Cuma
19 Kasım 2022 Cumartesi
Sevgili Ulya
Zamanın tam ortasında,
çırılçıplak paslı bir sessizlikle artık hiç hayat bulamayacağının bilincinde
yasını tutarken, gözlerimin nasırlaşmış bakışlarına astığım, kahvehanede çay
soğutan bu kimsesizlik ve boğazıma düğümlenen koca bir dünya ile uğurluyorum seni.
Hoşça kal..
Sana vermeyi düşündüğüm ne kadar isim varsa ve benden alacağın dalgalı saçlarının her bir telini, ömrümün kalanına düğüm ediyorum. Ama yetersiz kalıyor her çabam. Dinmeyecek bu acı. Hayalini kaybetsem de matemim kadim bir hatıra gibi kalacak bende. Sana gerçek bir veda edemediğimden ve ne yazık ki zamanı geri alamayacağımdan, sol göğsümün altında taşıdığım bu büyük öfkeyle, sana kavuşamamış, kavuşamayacak olan hayatımı omzumda sürükleyerek tutacağım yasını ela gözlü güzel kızım.
Kavgalarımız henüz kaderini
öldürmemişken, yani geleceğine kastetmemişken hırslarımız, kalplerimizin dörtnala
koştuğu o güzel zamanlarda, seni isterken, sana yazdığım mektupları, sana
vereceğim arkadaşlığımı, zayi makamında bir ağıtla, olmuş, bitmiş ve bencilce
tükettiğimiz her şeyden hicap duyan zayıf bir metanetle mumyaladım kalbimin en
kayıp köşesine. Şimdi bütün söylediklerimin değersizliği ile senden, çalınmış
geleceğinden arta kalan bu göç sessizliğine soruyorum, hiç doğmayacak olmana, okuduğum
hangi dua özür diler? Hangi çiçeği kabul eder etini bulamamış ruhun? Beni
affedebilir misin?
24 Ekim 2022 Pazartesi
2 Ekim 2022 Pazar
Eskiden, mezarlıktan geçerken gözlerimi kapatırdım. Bir zaman sonra yabani ot temizlemeyi, buz gibi bir mermer parçasının başında, içimden içimden söylenmeyi öğrendim. İçinizde ölüden başka bir şey yoksa, mezarlıklardan da korkmuyorsunuz. Artık her gün içimden bir cenaze kaldırıyorum. Kaybolanların ölüsünü her sabah yıkayıp kefenleyip, itinayla gömüp sonra da mezarlarını çiçekliyorum. Allah taksiratlarını affetsin..
17 Eylül 2022 Cumartesi
28 Ağustos 2022 Pazar
17 Ağustos 2022 Çarşamba
3. Günün Gecesi 6:48
27 Temmuz 2022 Çarşamba
7 Temmuz 2022 Perşembe
5 Temmuz 2022 Salı
23 Haziran 2022 Perşembe
22 Haziran 2022 Çarşamba
Şimdi bıkkın ve öfkeli adımlarımla arşınladığım o yoldan bir vakit, bir delikanlıyla geçmiştim. Güneş batarken İstanbul'un bir tepesinde, söndürürken umutları kimileri için, belki birileri için son nefes, son manzara iken o güzel kızıl-sarılık, saçlarıma vuran o sıcak ışığı ardıma alıp ben de yürümüştüm o caddeden bir delikanlıyla gülüşerek.
Bir kalp dört nala nasıl koşar o zaman öğrenmiştim.
21 Haziran 2022 Salı
19 Haziran 2022 Pazar
9 Haziran 2022 Perşembe
20 Mayıs 2022 Cuma
Dear Ulya,
Today I will talk about two of my best friends I met at Gazi University. To begin with, I hated it the first days of school. I even hated it so much that I decided to pack my everything and even return to Istanbul. After a while, I met Bedirhan and Sefa. When you come here, you will meet Sefa. You must have met Bedirhan already. He is a dark-haired boy who has a better smile than himself, smokes fast, and is always in a hurry somewhere. Yes, yes you know him. Hug him so tight for me and tell him I miss him so much.
I want to tell you a little about Sefa. He will be your uncle. I'm sure you will love him very much. Sefa is a very funny man. He is also kind and gentlemanly. But he gets angry while playing 101. especially when he lost. My sweet girl, my dear girl, if you're smart, don't play 101 with your uncle Sefa. He also knows how to make drinks. If you're stuck for money, just say 'Alo' to him. Uncle Sefa will do whatever you want and send it. Without forgetting, uncle Sefa's conversation is very good. He reads a lot of books. I am sure you will learn a lot from him. I am sure you will get on very well with each other. Sefa is like one of my family. Even one of my family. You can count on him in everything, my beautiful girl.
Bedirhan on the right side, Sefa on the left.
With laugh and 101 😘
28 Nisan 2022 Perşembe
21 Nisan 2022 Perşembe
12 Nisan 2022 Salı
Dear Ulya
I will introduce you to a very special woman. When I started talking I called her 'mom'. She is the biggest force behind her aunts and me. She is a very smart and very funny woman. I don't think I've ever seen better than her in my life. Also her voice is great. You are really lucky. I think she wants you to come here more than anyone else. Let me tell you a little bit about her life and her relationship with us.
She was born in Erzurum as the 4th child of a family of 6 children. Her parents sent all their children to school, but they didn't send her. That's why she did everything for us to go to school and be successful. I wish they would write her name on the diplomas we received. Because we successed it together. My mother, that is, your grandmother, is a more intelligent, compassionate and fair person than her other siblings. She is also a very kind and helpful person. She did her best to raise us like that. I thank her a thousand times for this. She got married at the age of 18 and came to Ankara. My mother, who learned to read and write by herself, barely got a primary school diploma here. Your grandmother is a very determined woman, my daughter. That's why I want you to be like her so much.
You see, my dear, there are many beautiful people that I will entrust you with. I am sure that you will love them very much and that it will not upset them. Because I am Mine's daughter and you are mine.
With Love :)
9 Nisan 2022 Cumartesi
Cabin crews! Captain is speaking! I am ready for halay. And you?
6 Nisan 2022 Çarşamba
Dear Ulya
In this letter, I will introduce you to two very valuable and important people.The first of these is my older sister, my first teacher, and your great-aunt.
Her name is Şeyda. Her name is Persian. The meaning of the name is 'in love'. She is a very beautiful woman. She is an incredibly generous person. Be generous like her. I also want to say that I admire her perseverance, she is very hardworking and incredibly determined. She has a very different character from me. For example, she is not as emotional as me. She can get angry fast sometimes. We had many fights at the time.We still do. Despite everything, she has a very good heart. A wonderful sister. And I'm sure she'll be a great aunt.
She has five cats. I hope you can see them. Don't think that Pastel will love you right away. It's kind of nazlı (çeviremedim bunu anası kurban olsun) like her mother. I'm sure you will have a lot of fun with her. That's why once in a while we'll throw you at her with your father and run away somewhere. I'm telling you right now little pişmaniye. Don't upset her. She is one of the most precious people in my life. She has a great love of Kısır. Your aunt loves plates of gold day's , my daughter. You can make her do whatever you want by making Kısır. There is no special recipe, you just shouldn't put too much olive oil.)
Finally, my sister doesn't like when someone hugs her tightly. But give her a big hug. For me too :)
Seda... My first daughter..I remember the days when I shook her to sleep. Your aunt Seda is like the pearl of our family. Bright and flashy. There are both too many and no words to describe her. Sometimes I think that Şeyda and Seda don't belong to this planet. They are so different and so beautiful that sometimes I feel like this world is going to wither them. Seda, for example, looks like a hippie running from concert to concert. For example, she seems like a careless. But she is not. You have a very sensitive aunt, my dear. And so much fun. I will tell you the tales, you and your aunt Şeyda will tell each other fortunes, and your aunt Seda will sponsor the concerts.I think you will eat the cream of this life, girl. I leave you two monstrous aunts. Cry with them, laugh with them, run to them..
Family is the greatest wealth. I leave you two excellent aunts.
With love and laugh :)
2 Nisan 2022 Cumartesi
Bonnie burada, Clyde nerede?!
18 Mart 2022 Cuma
15 Mart 2022 Salı
14 Mart 2022 Pazartesi
10 Mart 2022 Perşembe
9 Mart 2022 Çarşamba
27 Şubat 2022 Pazar
Dear Ulya
Hi honey. In this letter, I will give you bad news. War broke out between Russia and Ukraine. People are dying and we can't do anything. People are so weird. You will see this when you come here. Turkey is a country that has a coast to both countries. In this sense, we are in a somewhat difficult situation. We don't know when the war will splashed to our country. We are afraid. But I still have hope that good things will happen. The situation is bad, but we need to think about good things. These days will pass. I believe it.
I love you more than you can imagine, my beautiful girl.
With peace
17 Şubat 2022 Perşembe
15 Şubat 2022 Salı
13 Şubat 2022 Pazar
29 Ocak 2022 Cumartesi
18 Ocak 2022 Salı
3 Ocak 2022 Pazartesi
Dear Ulya
Read well what is written here. Here you will find pieces of my soul and you will get inside my head even a little bit. Don't afraid. I didn't crazy yet. But I'm on the border. The country has become uninhabitable. In fact, the world... Nevertheless dear girl, I'm working day and night to leave a inhabitable world for you. I'll travel to tell you the world. I'll read the fairytales to tell you. Neither car nor house I will beque. Because these are transient things. You'll realize that these are not precious things. The real happiness is knowledge and knowing the world, my beautiful girl.
With love :)



